I’m a rare breed. One of those born and raised in the City of Angels. A 70’s child that grew up with the Santa Monica sand beneath her toes and the Santa Ana winds playing with her hair.
Everyone always acts shocked when I tell them that I’m actually “from here” as if Los Angeles were just a stop on the road of life for everyone, not actually a home or final destination. Well, it is my home. Whether it’s my final destination or not has yet to be seen. I have my soul set on a little villa in Tuscany.
Being that this city is my place of birth, I have a lot of love for it despite its flaws. A sentiment shared by pretty much everyone I grew up here with. We are a mafia loyal band of sisters and brothers, so when someone decides to regurgitate negativity about our hometown, well, it’s hard not to take it to heart.
Los Angeles is what it is, take it or leave it….but please….please stop saying that this city makes people go bad. It’s one statement that makes me roll my eyes so far back in my head that sometimes I wonder if they’ll end up stuck that way. LA doesn’t make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do. End of story.
What I want to say to people who blame LA for their character defects is this….maybe everything seemed fine in whatever city or small town you came from, and maybe once you got to LA things fell apart, or you fell apart….but that doesn’t mean this city made you do or be anything.
What it can mean is that you just weren’t faced with the challenges and pace of life in your hometown that Los Angeles has to offer in spades. It can mean you didn’t have the grit or resilience necessary to survive our so-called “mean streets”.
This city, or any city for that matter, doesn’t make you a good or bad person….it’s a city. The conditions of living here might help bring out the best in you or the worst in you, but it certainly isn’t going to turn you into something that you’re not, unless you allow it.
Does LA magnify the issues you came here with? Yeah it’s possible….but it doesn’t force you to take action on them, or allow them to develop. How you react to situations, and the actions you take are a personal choice.
You don’t blame a city because you screwed up and can’t handle the consequences. You stole money from your roommate? Not LA’s fault. You got involved with the wrong crowd? Not LA’s fault. You got into a bad relationship? Not LA’s fault. You cheated on your significant other? Not LA’s fault. You developed an addiction? Not LA’s fault. None of it.
If I went out in a pair of sky-high stilettos, drank a fifth of whisky, fell and broke my ankles….would it be Jimmy Choo’s fault? Jack Daniels’? Nope. It would be my fault. My choices. My actions. My consequences.
Are there ways in which a city like Los Angeles can change you? Sure. As with any life experience, where you choose to live can mold you….but let me reiterate….it can’t actually change who you intrinsically are.
Living here can help you become tougher, more resilient, and open your eyes to the fact that the world is not always going to offer you a safe space.
Living here can afford you a chance to hone your intuition and deal with rejection knowing that it’s not a personal attack. That you can live your life independent of other people’s opinions of you.
Come with an open mind and a suitcase full of integrity and you’ll see that LA can help you grow in ways your hometown couldn’t….but please don’t come here and be reckless with yourself and with those around you and blame it on this city. My city.
If LA were such a destroyer of character and soul, there wouldn’t be any good people living here. Sure you get your run-of-the-mill narcissists, the “we’ll do anything to be famous” types, the plastic posse, the entitled ones, gold diggers, sugar daddies, gang bangers, liars, cheaters, and other such miscreants….but none of those are exclusive to LA, and none of them represent LA.
Those of us that truly represent this city are just a beautifully diverse group of people who want nothing more than to enjoy the sun, bring up healthy kids, pay our bills, eat great tacos, have a good laugh, and go to bed at night with a clear conscience. That’s it. Living here doesn’t change that for us. And it shouldn’t change that for you either…..“Wherever you go, there you are.”
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4 Comments
Hugh Hunter
Another great blog post where I found myself nodding in agreement. Having a sense of personal accountability and taking responsibility for one’s own actions engenders self-respect and the respect of others.
March 18, 2018 at 6:49 amMorayma
Thank you so much for your comment and compliment, Hugh. I appreciate it so much and makes me happy to know that anything I write strikes a chord with its reader. I completely agree….personal accountability and taking responsibility for one’s actions absolutely engenders respect on ever level…it’s something I try to instill in my own children. xx
March 18, 2018 at 5:03 pmMark
Great post.
March 26, 2018 at 2:35 pmComing from the East coast and spending many a day driving from San Diego to LA to bring my son to one of his many auditions, the first thing that struck me about LA was size. So easy to lose a day, just driving around. The second thing was the people. You can talk to anyone, which speaks a lot about anywhere. Try that in San Francisco, where many walk around with a pair of perpetual blinders on.
So, as a stranger to LA that came with a lot of pre-conceived notions about what to expect, I was glad to find myself wrong on all accounts. I’m going to go play some Red Hot Chilli Peppers now.
Morayma
Wow, Mark, thanks for that great comment! I always love hearing a fresh and positive perspective on my city from a non-native. I’ve never had a hard time talking to people here either (although many say they do) but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that if you are friendly and have a positive energy about you, people will respond in kind. If someone insists on being surly, then so be it….we just move on and not let it affect the rest of the day. So happy that you found LA to be the opposite of what you thought! 🙂 And great taste in music, by the way!
March 26, 2018 at 6:32 pm