Consider This.

I’ve debated on whether to write this post for a while, because I don’t want to come off as intolerant or petty. Every weekend I kind of forget a little about this major peet peeve of mine, but once school drop off ensues the following Monday, I feel the urge to write about this….so, here goes!!

I’ve jokingly told my boyfriend and a select few others that once people become parents they lose all sense of consideration on the road. Now, I know there are plenty of non baby having folks that should probably never be behind the wheel or even out of their houses to begin with….but the parents….oh the parents….

For the record, if you don’t already know me, I happen to be a parent myself….but I was raised with old school rules and regulations which basically meant I was taught to be aware of everyone at all times, everywhere, and always. I think this is something that somehow has been diluted into extinction by wayyyyyy too many people nowadays, and they are, perhaps unwittingly, passing this on their kids as well.

I’ll also add in another bit of preface by saying that I know many other parents and non parents and everyone in between that also happen to very considerate and lovely people…..but…and this is a big BUT….that doesn’t seem to be the norm anymore at least certainly not in Los Angeles.

Some of you may already be chuckling to yourselves knowing full well what this rant will be about…and for the rest of you….let me tell you what one of my biggest pet peeves ever is.

LACK OF CONSIDERATION WHEN OUT IN PUBLIC.

This shouldn’t be a thing, right? But it is. It really, really is, and the older I get the less tolerant of it I become. I thank God that I can live behind sunglasses year round whilst driving, otherwise the lasers I’m pretty sure emanate from my baby blues might actually put me on the Most Wanted List. Wish I was kidding.

And while I can’t stand lack of consideration in the my home either…what happens behind other’s closed doors certainly doesn’t affect me. Want to leave your clothes all over the floor just inches from the laundry basket? That’s ok. Dirty dishes piled in the sink and food streaks all over the counters? Have at it. Toilet paper roll left empty? Hey, I’ll still be your friend. It’s just the stuff that happens in PUBLIC….that’s the stuff we all gotta deal with, ya know?

So, what do I mean by lack of consideration in public? God, where do I even start?! Oh I know…and here’s a good one. School drop off zones (or pretty much any area within a one mile radius of any school). I make it very plain and clear to my kids that any conversation we may be having on the way to school ends abruptly the minute we get to the drop off curb and can commence the minute I pick them back up.

I get to that drop off zone and it’s practically a mafia car door roll out for my kids. “Grab the backpacks, lunch boxes, then tuck and roll! Love you! See you at 3!”. That’s that. So, now why is it that almost every other parent just sits and idles, not just at the curb, but double parked IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, while their kids climb out at the velocity of a tortoise still having a conversation with mom or dad, car door open…..convo keeps going as mom is yelling out the window and then watching said child(ren) amble over to the entrance. Meanwhile, all the other cars are piling up into some insane form of way-too-early-for-this gridlock. Add in the moms that need to stop in the middle of the road in their cars to talk to each other. Please, stop it. This is what our moms used the phone for. Call up Karen and ask her how her new CrossFit class went a little later, because the rest of us have got things to do and some of us are losing patience at warp speed.

Then there are the parents who actually park to let their kids out or walk them into the school and who, for some reason, need to swing their doors wide open without looking to see if there might be a car or bike in the way. How many car doors have I had to Mario Kart maneuver my way around? TOO MANY. By the way, some of those parents have their kids do the same thing…slam that car door wide open, baby. There you go! Should I add in that the schools have to constantly remind parents NOT to block people’s driveways or move their trash bins onto the sidewalk in order to park by the school? Who actually does this? Apparently parents do.

I never once thought I was odd or different in any way for always telling my kids to exit the car on the sidewalk side, you know…away from the danger of oncoming traffic, and to even then watch to see if a pedestrian was walking by. Which brings to mind that ever since they could get out of the car on their own, I’ve told them to be very careful and gentle when opening the car door in parking lots so as not to hit the car next to us. This is normal, right? I’m starting to think it’s not. Why? Well, I’ve honestly lost count of how many times I’ve had full grown adults hit my car with their car doors….and guess what? Their kids do the same thing.

So, why am I pinpointing parents in this rant? Well, because whatever you do, your kids are watching you. Whether you tell them to do things a certain way, they are learning by example and your actions, cliche as it may be, are always uproariously louder than your words. Which is why, when you think it’s ok to stroll leisurely across a busy intersection with your kids in tow as if you were wandering in a field of poppies and marigolds while you look at your phone….you’re teaching your kid not to care about anyone else around them. Again, from day one, I have taught my kids to be aware of the people around them. We all have places to go, things to do, schedules to keep. “It’s not polite to keep people waiting. It’s not polite to act like we are the only people in the world.” Words my kids hear ad nauseam coming out of my mouth. But hey…..being considerate is hugely important to me, and the lack of this value/skill/ethic or whatever you want to call it in today’s society makes me cringe.

So please, whether you have kids or not…but especially if you do….remember there are people around you, behind you, next to you. We all have lives and important things to attend to. This goes beyond just driving and parking too. Don’t take up the entire sidewalk or grocery aisle if you want to do the Baby Sloth Shuffle. Bag your own groceries and put down the cellphone. Drop your kids off at school in an organized and considerate manner (and also please follow the basic rules of the road when driving around schools and everywhere else….stop signs means you actually stop….right of way is a thing too….oh yeah and traffic signals. We like those.) Keep cell conversations at a more private decibel as well if you absolutely have to have them in public, because really none of us need to hear about how you need to clear your headspace after Susan cheated on you, or how bad your husband’s flatulence is. I think we all fared better when our phones were attached to the kitchen wall…..only family heard all of that stuff back then!

Oh and one more thing.…at Back To School Night and Open House….can we please, as parents, all actually LISTEN to the teachers/coaches/principals so that once the allotted time for this required evening parental soiree is over we can actually leave in time to feed our kids and put them to bed or have a glass of vino!? I know that the school staff would greatly appreciate being able to leave on time too….lord knows they have full days on campus every single day and would love to see their homes and their own families for a few hours before turning in for the night.

Let’s just be considerate. There was a time kids had to read from the likes of Emily Post when they were growing up….but do we really need to pull back out the book of manners? Or is there an app for that?

Ok, rant over. All that said, there still are some incredibly gracious people around, but it needs to stop being the exception and go back to being more commonplace. Imagine how much nicer the world would be?

Thanks for listening. Carry on. 🙂

header photo by Dariusz Szankowski @pixabay