I don’t want to strike terror in anyone’s hearts just yet….as I don’t have any immediate plans on leaving California….but……
I would be lying if I didn’t say that I dream of parting ways with my home state. I was born and raised in LA and, while I do love it, and it will always be home, I am growing weary of it. I find myself yearning for a better quality of life somewhere where my money actually means something. I don’t need much, but I would love to own a home again, and have just a bit more space for my kids and I to stretch out in.
I’d love to not pay a fortune to fill my tank with gas, and have my insurance premiums not cost me 2-3 months worth of income. I want to be able to save money and sometimes even splurge just a little. I can’t do that here. Some people may….but the reality is that most of us barely scrape by just to live within the confines of a La La Land postal code. We live paycheck to paycheck and then rely on credit cards just to make it by. And for what? To say we live by the beach? A beach that we usually take for granted. It’s there, but do we really go all the time? More than if we just came here for vacation? Not really. Same with Disneyland and all the other attractions that we can’t even afford because….well, rent.
I love LA. The weather, the geography, and the little bit of family and friends I have left here. I love it for the community my kids have found in school and camp. Those things are priceless…I know. But….but….but…..I’m tired of the traffic, the wannabes, the entitlement, the insane taxation, the personal freedoms we keep losing, and the cost of every little thing. On the surface this place is a shiny, gorgeous gem…..just drive down PCH and see what I mean…..but…but…but….there is more to life than that sparkle. I can’t help but sometimes see LA as an overly Botoxed, overly made-up old Hollywood starlet who had her heyday yet still desperately clings to her dream of someday being glorious again. And oh how she lures so many in her wake….
I recently started watching The Kindness Project and The American Dream Project on Netflix and it’s made me realize, and even envy, what life is like in so many other parts of the States. Hometown, homegrown, all American, salt of the earth, family oriented, don’t care what you drive, don’t care who you know, let’s watch out for each other vibes. I like that. I don’t need flash, glitz, or what I have seen my city become in the last decade….one big Snapchat filtered, Instagram photoshoot. It’s just not for me. It’s not who I am. I’m not a celebrity chaser, or a $15 avocado toast eater. I don’t care about the latest clubs, restaurants, or clothing stores. I can’t get far enough away from Rodeo Drive. I don’t care about labels. I don’t wear them. I’m not one.
I love LA for what it has been for me. The city I was born and raised in. I love the grittiness, and culture. I love the dichotomous nature of it. I love it in the way Kerouac did in his writing. Los Angeles will always be my roots…..but still….someday I’ll say goodbye to the City of Angels. I’ll come back to stick my toes in the sand and breathe in the Pacific Ocean air…..but I think that ultimately I need the peace and reality of elsewhere. I hear from my friends that live in smaller towns and smaller states and they have a quality of life that I don’t know exists here anymore. Their kids still play ball in the streets and ride their bikes till the sun goes down. Neighbors know each other by name, and life feels just a little less lonely and hectic. Would I give up the beach for that? Yeah. No brainer….but my priorities are not what they used to be.
I’m not leaving yet. No worries. I’m a girl who likes to dream and the thought of a simpler life keeps me sane, even here. Someday though…..
