I was born a city girl and spent years living and working in some of the most incredible metropolises. Milan, Taipei, New York, Tokyo, Osaka, Miami, Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle, Seoul, Hong Kong, Vienna….I loved them all and visited even more. I may have always been called to live the small town or country life, but I never really thought I’d do it. Kind of like I have always dreamt of escaping to a hammock on a beach in Bali….a girl can dream, but would it ever become reality?
The excitement and energy of the big cities made the blood hum in my veins and I loved what felt like full body exhilaration. I never knew what was around the next corner, there was so much to do and at all hours. There was an almost hedonistic quality to big city living along with an instant sense of gratification. I loved it and inhaled city life like a drug.
It is addicting, after all.
Some of these cities I called home, I still love and adore from a distance. There is nothing more incredible than being caught in the crowds of Taipei or Tokyo on a Friday night. Nothing more awe inspiring than walking the streets of London, New York or Milan. No sexier city than Miami Beach, truth be told. My memories of these places are incredible and in many ways made me who I am today…..but I was a kid in my 20s then.
The world was also very different.
As most of you know, I moved to a small town surrounded by farmland and horse country four months ago. Last week, two of my dear friends came to spend the day with me and I got to see the magic of this place through their eyes….not that I needed that reminder because I fall in love with my country/small town life more and more each day. We walked through the little downtown area and they commented on the peacefulness, the cleanliness, and how quaint everything was. Everyone we walked by, including little children, were full of smiles and greeted us warmly. The sense of connection and community was impossible to ignore.
We spoke about how different it is here than it is in our respective cities of LA and Portland. The friendliness is a noticeable and heartwarming difference when compared to the rushed, aggressive, fear-driven, and almost angry energy we see every day in our (my old) big cities. They remarked on how safe it feels here and how they worry about their own kids and their friends’ kids living in the city. There is a lack of camaraderie there, a desensitization to the crime and homelessness which spills over into even the safest of neighborhoods. When we live in cities like that, we sometimes don’t realize that life can be and is actually very, very different in other places.
I should have hung my city girl hat up a lot longer ago.
I’m in the throes of parenting two teens with very big personalities on my own and that alone is enough to make anyone lose their proverbial shit….but small town country living allows me to breathe in a way I hadn’t been able to in LA for years. Call me crazy, but I feel like if you are sensitive or empathetic, you can feel the collective energy of the places where you live. The energy there was angry and frenetic. The pandemic magnified that. The energy here is peaceful and sane. Trust me….I need all the peaceful and sane I can get!
We all do.
The difference between my two lives of city and country became even more apparent when the kids and I drove back to LA to see family for a few days last month. I sat quietly in the driver’s seat as we drove past downtown and into the Westside of LA and listened to the kids mention to each other how worn out and dirty everything looked. There were new encampments everywhere….even in the most unlikely of places. No one was smiling (and perhaps the only ones who were had masks on). They observed it all….things they had grown used to or thought was normal….until our normal changed.
I remind them of these things now when they complain that they’re bored because there isn’t a mall close by or more “to do”. I also remind them that those things are all coming. Patience.
They have their complaints because it’s hard for city teens to become country or small town teens overnight, but they aren’t lost to the benefits. My son started working at 16 in LA. He was the only one of his friends with a job there and was seen as something of an odd bird for that. Here, all the teens work. Some of these kids have cars better than I’ll ever own, but they still have jobs, and no one cares where you work. No one makes fun of you for working a fast food job. It’s honest work for an honest dollar. There is so much more real-worldness here that it blows me away. My daughter told me the other day that she feels so relieved that none of the kids here compare grades and test scores with each other….which was a constant source of anxiety for her back in LA.
Kids hang out in an even more diverse crowd than I saw in my big city life. Country kids in their Stetsons, athletes, the academics, the theater kids, the LGBTQ+ kids, the gamers, the preppies, the goths, the Church going kids, the military kids, liberal kids, conservative kids, and everyone in between. They discuss politics, and religion….and the pandemic. Some have opposing views but somehow….somehow can actually speak to each other with critical thought and civility. These kids put most adults to shame. This is TRUE diversity….and we found it in a town of under 12,000.
Hard working yet less competitive. Humility over one-upping.
Healthy. Healthier.
It takes me about 30 minutes to get to the closest Trader Joe’s, but I take country roads and drive past horses and cows. I stop at 4 way stops and have farmers on tractors tip their hats to me and wave me to “go ahead”. I watch the sunset behind the mountains while hawks fly overhead. It’s worth the drive.
I haven’t heard a police helicopter since I left LA. The only police siren that has blown past my house was when a hiker got lost in the White Tanks in over 100 degree weather in July. He forgot his water.
Life isn’t perfect. Far from it. I have my worries, my stress, and anytime I check in to what is happening in the world, or even just across state lines I dive deep into an existential crisis….but where I live no longer adds to those feelings.
One thing I realized after moving here is that city people often view small town or country dwellers as being a bit backwards or somewhat ignorant. This is the farthest thing from the truth. That type of arrogance keeps people stuck in positions and places that aren’t healthy mentally or physically. It’s also not a good look.
I have always said that traveling is one of the most important things anyone can do….and that the best education is always gained on the road. Now I can say wholeheartedly that only traveling to resorts and cities, albeit great and a lot of fun, is only one part of that education….one class in the School of Life. Next time you feel the urge to wander, try a small town or the countryside.
You might find your slice of heaven like I did. 🙂
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