I read an article not too long ago that attested to the fact that readers make the best people to fall in love with. I loved that article, and as a huge nerd and bibliophile, I’ll go ahead and agree.
I mean, for decades Hollywood has made us nerdy types out to be the wallflowers at every dance, losing the guy (or girl) to the jock or head cheerleader or bad boy guitar playing, motorcylce riding…well you get the idea.
We bookworms were relegated to sitting alone in the school library next to a pile of dusty tomes while everyone else slow danced and got felt up in the auditorium. All good. We nerds ended up with less drama and heartbreak…and a better vocabulary anyways.
To be honest, the fact that the article I read pointed out that readers make better lovers didn’t really surprise me. Without any research or studies, I can tell you that anyone who has spent hours pouring over great literature, and immersing themselves in the romance of the written word will absolutely make a great lover.
Readers take the time to make their way through a book. They take the time to watch the characters develop, they use their imaginations and don’t rely on the ability to fast forward with the remote.
None of this instant gratification, microwaveable kind of stuff…ok, ok, some of you may skip to the end of a particular book, but that’s naughty and we won’t discuss it. This means that readers, in my book, are more likely to take the time to get to know you, the real you, as you unfold and grow in a relationship.
Readers also tend to have better vocabularies, and are more culturally aware, than those who prefer to stay away from the bookshelves…and you know what? A good vocabulary and some serious smarts is sexy. Very.
Let us not forget too, that readers can make fantastic conversationalists. They are interesting, and that makes for a relationship that never gets dull…even when your favorite show gets cancelled. Then there is the whole fact that the very act of reading, from the very first page to the very last one, is nothing short of romantic. Almost seductive in its own way.
How often have you fallen in love with the characters of a story and honestly mourned the end of the book as if those characters were lovers moving far, far away…forever? I know I have. It’s that hopeless romantic tendency that readers of literature have. How could that not attest to the fact that readers, indeed make better lovers and partners?
It does make me sad though, that the future generations may not have this to look forward to. The social media, YouTube, 2 second video clip generation that doesn’t have the patience or desire to sit with a book for an hour, a day, a week and see it through from beginning to end.
Will their ability to have what they want “right now” and satiate their desires and curiosity with the click of a mouse or swipe of their finger remove this magical, languid, progression towards romance when they become adults?
I guess we have yet to see….but as a parent it makes me worry. I want my kids to experience life in such a way that they can take the time to truly taste it. Not that I intend for them to start dating anytime soon. Good lord no. After age 30 sounds just about right.
Well enough of that….time to make a cup of tea and pick up one of the 5 books I’m currently reading. I have the bad habit of reading more than one book at a time, but I’m an adult and allowed to do that, right?
Leave me a note below and let me know what you’re reading now….this nerd loves suggestions for her literary bucket list.
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8 Comments
Carolyn Wisniewski
I agree! But I was an English literature major 🙂 The only thing I differ on is I’m a one book at a time girl. I feel like I’m cheating on my characters if I start another book before their story is finished. I also seem to have to read every book to the end, even if I’m not enjoying it. I can’t put it down until it’s done. I wish I could. Oh well 🙂 lol
March 30, 2018 at 10:00 pmMorayma
I was an English Lit major too!! 🙂 I do need more discipline when it comes to reading one book at a time…luckily my literary promiscuity doesn’t cross over into my human interactions haha!!
March 31, 2018 at 1:30 amDee Dee
Morayma, I’m currently reading The Anthropology of Turquoise by Ellen Meloy and it made me think of you. It’s essays, not fiction, but I think you’d enjoy it. Please keep writing! I’m not very consistent at reading blogs, but I love to catch up with yours when I can (like during Spring Break when I don’t have student essays demanding my attention 🙂 Hugs!
April 6, 2018 at 10:22 pmMorayma
That book sounds fantastic and I’ll put it on my list, thank you Dee Dee! Thank you also for checking in on my blog, means a lot to me! Enjoy the rest of Spring Break! Back to school for my kids on Monday! xo
April 7, 2018 at 3:39 pmHugh Clark Hunter
Hi Morayma!
You have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to replying to this particular blog post. I wholeheartedly and unequivocally (ok, ok, I’ll stop with the adverb showboating) agree with your assertion that we nerdy logophiles and bibliophiles make better lovers – it stands to reason that someone with the ability to empathise with myriad different people and situations, passionate about learning and discovering new worlds, who is patient enough to systematically work their way through a story; someone with an expansive imagination, an inquisitive mind and an open heart – is going to be adept in the ways of love. Of course we are!
We are invariably dreamers and idealists, visionaries and activists, empaths and advocates too. Don’t get me wrong; I’m generalising and know that having the ability to read or write a book doesn’t make you a stellar human being by proxy, but in my experience readers and writers tend to mitigate their flaws and shortcomings by the very fact of their own self awareness – due in no small part to their understanding of the human experience.
Ok so I’ll nail my colours to the mast. Of the many ways in which I choose to define and identify – father, friend, brother, son, lover, dreamer, eclecticist, aesthete, nerd, European cinema aficionado, music geek, nature lover to list some – I would feel incomplete without “reader” and “writer” being stirred into the above mix in generous quantity.
Words; spoken, read, written and dreamt, define me. It’s that simple. And it’s those qualities that I look for when I connect with someone else. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my strongest, long lasting connections and friendships are made with people who know their way around a library or bookshop. A love of music and creativity usually follow as standard – so YAY for us.
I’m currently reading nine books on rotation – some faster than others – and will gladly give you some recommendations for your “To Read” list (it’s what we love to do, isn’t it?)
“Feast Of Love” by Charles Baxter – a revisionist retelling of A Midsummers Night Dream, this ethereal story is tempered with a real sense of knowing – I had fun recognising myself and others in the motivations, desires and emotions of the characters contained within.
“Maggie Cassidy” by Jack Kerouac – I covet this book. I should proclaim its merits from the tallest tower for all to hear, but I don’t. I have loved it from the moment I read it as a teenager and I love it still, 30 years on. I only tell people I care about or who love to read, about this beautiful book by one of my favourite authors. I give it as a gift to friends on birthdays and at Christmas. It’s that special, to me at least. But who wouldn’t be intoxicated by a book about the intense hormonal headiness of first love? As an adult, Jack Kerouac revisits his memories of falling in love for the first time, with the bewitched and luminous Maggie. It’ll make you fall in love with being in love.
“Kitchen” by Banana Yoshimoto – described by various commentators as “Japanese minimalism”, “metaphysical”, “allegorical” and “a study in gender politics”, I prefer to describe it as one person’s idosyncratic journey. It explores themes of home, comfort, loss, love, identity and food. What’s not to love? I intuitively “got” this book and on further readings, continue to “get” it. It’s up there with Maggie Cassidy – I don’t tell too many people about it, because it somehow feels like part of me. I hope this makes sense to you.
“How Late It Was, How Late” by James Kelman – like Madame Bovary, Saturday or A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich; HLIWHL is a capsule story, taking place over a chaotic day in which the Scottish antihero Sammy lurches from one disaster to another, told chronologically in Glaswegian dialect, where the minutiae of everyday life is scrutinised, deconstructed and reassembled in such a way that you begin to see the world through a blind man’s eyes. To non-Scots the dialogue, although challenging, becomes more and more understandable as you navigate the cadence and natural rhythms of the words on the page. The author is a working class Glaswegian cum social commentator cum university professor cum Booker Prize winner, and worship at his altar.
The Theory of Everything – Explaining String Theory by Michio Kaku – who knew quantum mechanics would be so sexy? Exploring the infinite possibilities afforded by unlocking our access to parallel universes and multiple dimensions, this mind-blowing book posits that any experience we’ve ever had is mirrored in a parallel universe with differing outcomes every time. Maybe in one of them you and I are friends discussing this book and others over a bottle of rioja on a warm day, under the shade of a sycamore tree? Michio Kaku says it’s possible.
“Heat” by Bill Buford – you like food? Like cooking? Like eating? Like travel? Like life? You’ll love this.
Miscellaneous reads:
Scottish, history and the Highland Clearances, a biography of David Bowie, a history of the Sioux nation, a travelogue of the American Great Plains and Midwest, “Little Birds” the erotic poetry of Anaïs Nin, anything by Anthony Bourdain.
I have just realised that this response is longer than your blog post – i apologise for getting carried away in my self-indulgent nerdy book worship. Please forgive me.
Important: readers and writers raise readers and writers. My daughter Hope is 10. She reads 3 books every week. We go to the library together and don’t want to leave. She writes short stories and plays. She has ever most inquisitive mind and questions everything – that’s my greatest achievement. I have a feeling you’ll have a similar story about your kids.
Thank you for indulging me in this.
Hugh x
April 18, 2018 at 5:32 amMorayma
Best comment ever! Thank you so much, Hugh! I loved reading this….and am adding all of your suggestions to my list of “must reads”. I love that your daughter is already a bibliophile at 10! Reminds me of me as a child….and of my daughter who is 11. I have to go in at night and take away her book and reading light otherwise she’ll stay up all night with her face buried into a book! Maybe our girls will cross paths someday and get to wax and wane poetic. 🙂 By the way….I love anything by Anthony Bourdain as well….such a great voice both written and live. Love his mind.
April 19, 2018 at 2:44 pmElizabeth Auwarter
I love this! I’m reading Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes and The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp. It is a really interesting pairing. I look forward to comparing and contrasting them in my writing soon.
April 19, 2018 at 12:49 amMorayma
Thank you! I am going to add your book suggestions to my list of “to-reads”. I would love to read your book reviews as well! Drop me a link to your blog, I look forward to following it!
April 19, 2018 at 2:40 pm