Have Mercy: Observations on the Disappearance of Common Decency.

I promise I tried to write something else green and herbal and skin or immune system worthy!  I really, honestly did!  However, I think I’ve maybe reached the limit when it comes to dealing with the general public and I’m about to go on a little rant.  

I‘m not sure if I can blame it on getting older, or how much society has and is changing, or the fact that I live in a city afflicted by affluenza (like most major cities)….whatever is it, I’m about ready to pack up and head for a remote location and just breathe. At least for a little while.

I was raised by parents with Old World values and morals.  I was brought up to be polite, humble, honest, hard working, and to respect my elders. My aunt and uncle taught me the importance of being independent and strong.  I never really thought those were rare or almost extinct traits to have….but more and more I believe they are.  

I know I’m not the only one to feel this way, but it seems as though each generation is losing the ability to see themselves as a part of a whole….as part of a village.  Seems like it’s an exceptional thought that how one of us behaves affects everyone around us…..and let me tell you, nothing makes me more irate than entitlement.  

Well, almost nothing.

Sure, lack of consideration has always existed, but lately it feels like it’s become an epidemic…or maybe just the new normal.  I see examples of this every day….multiple times a day.  Not once in a while. Nothing blue moon about this behavior. It’s just all the time and everywhere.  So, instead of a long paragraph filled blog post, I’m just gonna write up a little list of this stuff that drives me crazy, and feel free to comment below on some things that make you roll your eyes to the point of getting stuck.

Here we go….

-Professional offendees.  Stealing this term from my uncle. These are people who troll social media just waiting to find something they can take personally or find offensive.  Rather than keep scrolling they need to go on a keyboard rampage.  Listen, not everything you see online is going to make you happy, that’s why it’s so easy to scroll, swipe, or close a browser window.  Just keep moving along.  I also realize I’m probably going to offend some people with this blog post….but oh well.

-People taking up more than one parking spot. An affliction that seems to affect mostly owners of BMWs, although I just saw a Fiat commandeer two spots the other day. A Fiat. Basically a thimble on wheels, and yet whoever owns it can’t seem to park it in between the lines.  Those lines are painted on the asphalt for a reason. You’re supposed to park your vehicle IN BETWEEN those lines, not over them.  Same goes for people who park halfway in front of people’s driveways.  I mean, who does that??

-Slow walkers.  No, I do not include the elderly or physically incapacitated in this.  I’m talking about people who take up the entire store aisle or sidewalk with a gait akin to walking through molasses. No thought to other people maybe wanting to get by.  Same for people who walk across the street with their face stuck in their phone screen.  We’re not meandering in a field of wildflowers, folks. This is an urban jungle. Knees to chest, as Samuel L. Jackson said. It’s common courtesy.

-The take-forever-to-order society.  Oh dear Lord help me with these people. I don’t do fast food (well, with the exception of In N Out) but I do sometimes need a smoothie or a cup of coffee on the run.  If by the time you’ve reached the counter you still have no idea what you want to order, then maybe step aside and let those of us who desperately need our fix and know how to order it get what we need.  Same for going out to eat at a restaurant. If you have to completely deconstruct your meal while ordering it….perhaps staying home is your best option.  No server, chef, or meal-mate needs to deal with basically creating something completely off menu because your peas can’t touch your rice, and you deem sauce of any kind to be evil.

-The non-kid-having-evil-eye-givers.  Yeah, ok, I might’ve been one of those at one point in my life, but let me tell you….there are spoiled kids and then there are just kids.  For the most part, ALL babies and toddlers will cry, scream, and yell at any given time and there is nothing the parents can do other than leave the establishment (which is what I would always do).  If the parents are earnestly trying to get their child to calm down, or are attempting to leave the premises so as not to inflict the misery on you that they decided to inflict on themselves…then please look away or give them a small smile of commiseration. Rolling or giving the evil eye, making smug remarks about how your kids would never behave that way, and otherwise making the parents feel worse than they already do is bollocks.  Take my word for it….do this enough times and you will someday have a kid with severe colic and and their terrible-two’s will leave you wishing you had volunteered for the frontline in Afghanistan.

-The line cutters.  Listen, I know this is the US and not Japan or England where everyone knows how to properly queue, but COME ON!!!  Weren’t we all raised to know that cutting in line is rude? Weren’t we?  I notice this everywhere I go….full grown adults cutting in front of me to be first to the cashier, first to get the reduced price pack of toilet paper, first to whatever. One of the most embarrassing displays of this was at my daughter’s Back To School Night at the middle school.  I was in line with a group of parents to enter a particular classroom when this overly made-up woman just barged her way in dragging her husband behind her.  Didn’t say excuse me…nothing.  Just made her way through the door like a German tank.  At the end of the teacher’s presentation all of us got in line again to greet the teacher, and I saw her from the corner of my eye just walk right up to him, ignoring the rest of the line, and grab his hand to shake it….”Ohh just thought I’d hop in line and introduce myself!” …..you cheeky little woman. Really?  There were at least 20 of us in line waiting patiently.  Someone needs to be schooled in manners.  I mean, if I can wait patiently in line for someone to decide which hybrid milk they want in their latte….you can wait in line too.

-The personal space intruders.  I don’t need to elaborate on this one, but if you’ve ever been in a public place and had someone stand so close to you that you felt as if they were about to start listening to your innermost thoughts, then you know what I mean.

-The megaphone conversationalists.  Anyone who walks around in public carrying on a cellphone convo at the highest decibels possible falls into this category.  A phone conversation should not be as loud as a public sermon.  No one wants to hear your TED Talk about how you cheated on your boyfriend and don’t understand why he won’t answer your calls or how many tequila shots you had over the weekend and the results thereof.  Keep it private, people. Cellphone does not equal megaphone.

-The excuse makers.  I am fully guilty of this on occasion…pretty sure we all are….but lately this seems to be happening habitually even on a professional level.  Little white lies don’t hurt, right?  Well…they can. If you have to cancel a meeting, class, work project, etc…..just say so. You don’t have to even give a reason…..but if you make up a reason most of the time, people will know it’s BS…especially us older folks.  We can see through the excuses clear as Saran Wrap.  I for one, always know when I’m being lied to, whether I show it or not…so if you’re gonna make an excuse as to why my check is late, or anything else for that matter, at least make it creative and completely outlandish.  Like, you were really busy riding your pet unicorn over the weekend or got a call to take a scuba diving expedition to the Lost City of Atlantis.  Trust me, that’s so much better.

-The purveyors of dog poop.  Pretty sure none of us has any love for these people.  They walk their four legged best friends and let them proffer their offal onto our lawns or even the sidewalk only to stroll away and leave it there.  If you can’t carry around some little plastic bags then try a large leaf or some newspaper.  Whatever. I don’t care. Just pick that stuff up.  I watched a woman let her enormous Alsatian drop a deuce bigger than foot on my lawn one day and then leave it there.  She saw me watching her through the window and just nonchalantly walked away.  So, I took a plastic bag out of the kitchen, picked it up and walked half a block over to her.  Handed her the bag and told her I was sure she’d want it back as I would feel terrible keeping something that didn’t belong to me.  I never saw her walk her dog in front of my house again.

Oh man, I feel like I can go on and on but this blog post would turn into a novel.  I’ll stop here and write another post that has less to do with manners and more to do with rampant idiocracy another day.  I’m tired from being out in the world today.  Might be time for a glass of wine. Or two.

Have I left anything out?  Drop me a line below with things that make you crazy!

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