Rewiring Home.

Well….it’s been a while since I last posted or even re-introduced one of my original blog posts. I never intended on taking a hiatus from my blog, but things got intense, crazy, busy….so I did what was necessary to allow for a few extra shreds of time and sanity in my days.

It’s been a couple of months of silence and re-grouping for me (much needed)….but I don’t really have any excuse now to stay away from writing. So, I figured I’d hop back in with a post explaining where exactly I’ve been and how I’ve been rewiring my concept of home.

For those of you who follow me on social media, you’ll know that I recently made a major life change….a relocation, if you will. It may have seemed like a sudden decision, but it was far from it. I had been researching and doing my due diligence for a while and the pandemic lockdowns in California really pushed me towards making the move that I did with a lot more confidence. Still scared shitless…but confident.

Over the past 5 years I watched the city of my birth, Los Angeles, start to turn into something of a dumpster fire. Crime was on an uptick, the homeless population began to grow exponentially, and it just didn’t feel like the kind of place I wanted my kids spending the rest of their childhood in anymore.

Cost of living continued to go through the roof despite quality of life going down the drain, traffic became an ever increasing nightmare, and (being the sensitive creature that I am) I could not help but notice that people in general just kept getting angrier, more impatient, and entitled. An almost palpable angst permeated the city. Once Covid hit, all of the dysfunction became more apparent. Painfully apparent.

I realized that I was not in love with my hometown or state anymore….there was just too much going on there that did not feel right and the anger and fear and anxiety everywhere from marketplaces to Facebook groups to roadways was getting to be too much. My kids were feeling it too.

Ultimately it was my kids who were the driving force for me to break away from family, friends, and the “safety” of the familiar. After a year and a half of school closures, pandemic learning via Zoom, and a frustrating lack of leadership via our state government when it came to addressing the mental health of our kids (especially teens)….hotlines are just not enough….I knew I needed to make a major sacrifice.

Major sacrifice because even though I was not loving the decline of the city I have always been ride or die to, if it was just me….I could’ve and probably would’ve stayed. Major sacrifice because picking up your entire life to move away to a new place, without any friends or family or even any idea of how you were going to make it happen is damn scary.

I would do it all again if I had to though.

I observed over the past year and half how government leaders in other states were handling things and especially HOW they were handling the well-being of kids. Mental health is EVERYTHING. Our mindset affects our immune system…and yet we’re not allowed to talk about that. Stress, anxiety, and yes, even fear can affect your overall wellbeing… everyone should know this. It should be a message stapled to every prescription you pick up from the pharmacy and stuck to every medical office door.

I felt uncomfortable walking with my kids and dog and seeing people genuinely cross the street or walk practically into oncoming traffic to avoid us even though we were all masked up. It felt dystopian….and wrong.

I watched my daughter develop anxiety during lockdown.,,,and while she weathered the storm as best as she could with our help, the effects still linger…..and it infuriates me….because things could have been handled differently. As they were in other places.

I hesitate to even speak of these things because anything having to do with the pandemic seems to be the ultimate polarizer. How dare you say that the governor, mayor, etc. etc. didn’t make the right decisions? Well….the governor’s kids were in school while mine, like so many were kept behind screens….because privilege. Also, my son spent the entire pandemic school year working as an essential worker at a grocery store surrounded by hundreds of strangers day in and day out….because that was allowed…..but going to school in a building with other kids….NOT allowed.

Ok. Makes sense.

I won’t argue about this with anyone. I do respect everyone’s values, fears, etc. I do however see things from a middle of the road perspective….and corruption and double standards by way of our “leaders” will never sit well with me, especially when my kids’ wellbeing is at stake. I also appreciate leaders who respect a parent’s choice when it comes to how and when their children should be educated. I believe we need leaders who understand that wellbeing does not just stop at a healthy body. Healthy minds matter too.

I may not have the money and clout that a mayor, governor, or celebrity does…but my kids deserve the same opportunities their kids do. End of.

I also know there is no perfect place, but after watching my old hometown and state take a turn that just didn’t feel good to me anymore….I feel like I’ve found the right place for us, at least for now.

We don’t hear sirens and helicopters anymore, but we hear birds and a hell of a lot of cicadas.

There are no homeless encampments anywhere, but we do need to watch out for the occasional scorpion, javelina, or bobcat. We also have coyotes, but so does LA.

No one crosses the street or walks out of their way to avoid you when you walk down the road. They look you in the eye and say “hello” or “how you doin’?”. It’s connection. We need that as humans.

A 17 year old girl was recently violently attacked while jogging down a bike path in my old neighborhood in LA… in broad daylight. When I read that it punched me in the gut. That could’ve been one of my kids. Here, my kids need to watch out for senior citizens driving in their golf carts…happy hour at the golf club and all.

I pay half of what I did in LA to live in a house over twice the size, with a view of the mountains and bunnies romping around my front yard in a community with two pools a gym and more parks than you could ever need or want.

It’s peaceful.

People are friendly, polite, laid-back, and just want to be happy. I love the live and let live, I do me, you do you mentality here. There is a lack of fear and angst. It’s refreshing.

My son has been something of a hit at school already and he mentioned how interesting it is that kids here all have social media accounts (of course) but none of them have more than a 100 or so followers. In LA the push for viral fame amongst kids was intense and the cause of a lot of insecurities for pre-teens and teens. Do it all for the Snap or Gram. Buy fake likes and followers. Live through your screens. Not here. At least not as much.

There seems to be more balance.

When asked what they want to be in the future on the first day of school here….kids were saying they want to work in government, the military, medicine, law, firefighting, construction, agriculture. He kept saying “it’s so cool…people here just want to be normal, not try to be celebs”.

That’s right, son.

This is also the first time my 17 year old has been able to openly admit that he would like to work in Law Enforcement. He wants to be one of the good guys. He believes in true justice. He could never admit this in LA for fear of being ostracized.

I almost cried at the high school Open House night (kept it together so as not to mortify my kids) because everything was so normal, happy, positive…I felt like it was a throwback to when I was in high school. School gym, bleachers, marching band, fight song, drill team. All of it.

It took me 20 minutes to get my car registered and new drivers license WITHOUT making an appointment. Also cost me almost half as much to do so.

My car insurance also went down by half.

Gas is $2.99 a gallon just down the street.

It’s hot as hell in the summer but it’s a dry heat and, to be honest, it’s a small price to pay for peace. (Also, the rest of the year, the temps are almost exactly the same as the Westside of LA, so there’s that.)

I will always hold a special place in my heart for Los Angeles, but as places change and we change as people sometimes you have to make difficult choices. It may still be a great place for a lot of people…it just wasn’t for us anymore.

So now, I’m rewiring home. My nomad heart likes that.

……and with that…..I’ll be writing more and more often.

So welcome home to me….and welcome back to Adulthood Rewired to you!